This is a fanfic
by Melmm
Summary: Boring algebra class+fanfic=not good. PG for language, insanity, and a nekkid Remy. Fun!


Wrote it in algebra, parts of the lecture seeped through. Not my fault. Own nothing. Wish I owned Remy. Oh, somewhere along the way I decided to get the word "quaffee" (coffee) in here as much as possible.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
This is a fanfic. Or at least it will be, once I can think of something to write about. Perhaps fanfiction wasn't meant to be written while half asleep with a babbling algebra professor in the background, but considering the only other option is actually paying attention to the lecture, I'm sure you can see how this is the highly preferable choice. So…  
  
It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, the extremely annoying school marching band, which for some reason practices right outside the door to my algebra class, had finally shut up, and the birds that had been frightened away by the atrocious noise were beginning to return. Not that their chirping was any less annoying, but it fit into the whole beautiful-day thing better. Storm yawned, stretched, got out of bed, and walked to the kitchen. No one else seemed to be home, or they were all asleep, like I wish I was right now. Storm put some ground quaffee beans in the quaffee maker and was about to turn it on when the door burst open and in walked an eviiil y=mx+b. Storm screamed and hit it over the head with the quaffee pot, then flew out the door.  
  
"Ow!" cried the eviiil y=mx+b, flying after her.  
  
"You can fly?" Storm gasped.  
  
"I can do anything!" cackled the eviiil y=mx+b. "As long as I do it to both sides of the equals sign!" This gave Storm an idea, and she flew away. The eviiil y=mx+b tried to follow, but it was unbalanced and had to stop and adjust its variables. By the time it managed to take off again, Storm was long gone, so it went to gather backup.  
  
Meanwhile, the other X-Men were beginning to wake up. Actually Storm's scream had awoken them, but it had taken them this long to decide whether or not whatever had happened was worth getting out of their warm, cozy beds to investigate. But eventually they all realized (Yes, all at the same time. Convenient, no?) that they wouldn't be getting back to sleep now anyway, so they got up and made their way to the kitchen, where they discovered the broken quaffee pot.  
  
"Something is wrong!" cried Rogue.  
  
"Yeah," said Cyclops. "We can't have quaffee."  
  
"No, Ah meant…" Suddenly the realization sank in. "No quaffee!"  
  
The X-Men all stared at each other for a moment, trying to figure out what to do about this terrible tragedy. And wondering why, with all their technology, they had only one quaffee pot. Suddenly, a little light bulb clicked on over Cyclops' head. Literally. Because the author likes the mental image of that.  
  
"Hey, I know. We can stop at Starbucks!"  
  
The X-Men all agreed that this was a great idea. Perhaps the best idea that Cyclops had ever had (which really isn't saying a whole lot, when you think about it), and hurried out the door to Starbucks. Of course, the Quaffee Bean would have been much better, but they don't have those in the Marvel Universe. What do you think causes all that angst, anyway? It's a lack of decent quaffee, I tell ya!  
  
Meanwhile, Storm…had dropped out of this fic for a while. Don't ask me where she went.  
  
As for the rest of the X-Men, they had made it through the ridiculously long line at Starbucks, paid for their overpriced, under quality quaffee, and were now sitting around a few of those tiny Starbucks tables, which they had pulled together. They began to notice that they were attracting some strange looks.  
  
"How come everybody's looking at me?" Gambit whispered to Rogue.  
  
"It might have something to do with the fact that ya have no clothes on, sugah."  
  
"Well, it's not my fault dat de author didn't give me a chance to get dressed!"  
  
Just then, Emmie walked through the door and over to their table. "Hi guys! Hi Remy. There's a reason I left you nude. Specifically, because I like it that way. And since you brought it up, this seemed like as good a time as any to write myself into the fic and have some fun. So come on." With that, she grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him to a dark, back corner where no one would see them, and…  
  
Hey, wait, are there kids reading this? Damn!  
  
…gave him some clothes and sent him back to the table before walking out, slightly annoyed with herself for rating this fic PG. Ah well, I'm more into fantasizing about Marilyn Manson now anyway.  
  
By this time, the rest of the X-Men had finished their quaffee, so they headed back to the mansion to figure out what had happened to Storm. When they walked through the door, they were completely shocked to find…  
  
Hah! I am eviiil! Muahahaha! Actually, I've got 15 minutes to get this uploaded, so I decided to leave it there. New chapter soon! 


End file.
